I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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