i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
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We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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