That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
