I'm laying in your front yard are you home
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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