Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize