....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
they need to just BURY HIM!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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