I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
