Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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