Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
