So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize