we're chasing vodka with high fives
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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