Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
