were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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