the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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