I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
