I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
