Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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