I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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