Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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