Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I came so hard my ears popped.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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