walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
