I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
