do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
