i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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