just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize