You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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