Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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