seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
