im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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