im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
