I want to stick my p in your. b.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
