ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
