if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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