I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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