Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Will you blow on my dice?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
