GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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