make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
