Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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