Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
