CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
