I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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