So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
