Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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