i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize