I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
