just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
