What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sorry about my life...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
