Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just gift wrapped bread.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The ass gains better be worth it
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