If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
