There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
