And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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