Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
