there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
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I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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