what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize