He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
