Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
