you have to choose: penises or morals?
you win again, gameday.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
